If I were to ever do stand-up comedy, I'd like to tell this joke:
My dad and I are both getting paid by the government to stay home all day and watch TV. The only difference is, it's perfectly acceptable for him to do that, but not me. When you're over 65, it's called retirement. When you're 25, it's called being an unemployed bum.
If I think of more jokes, I will post them here.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
The Post-Holiday Blues
So...yeah. It's been a while since the last time I wrote in this thing. Stuff I had said sorta came back and bit me in the ass. The evidence has long been deleted, but the damage was done. The army guy and I are not on speaking terms anymore. (Edit: Ok, yeah, that's kind of a lie. He sent me a message saying he just wants to be friends. And now he randomly texts me every once in a while. I should probably ignore it, but I give terse, polite answers. Either way, "speaking" or not, we are not a couple.) Long story short, we clearly were not looking for the same things. Guess it wasn't meant to be. I kinda saw it coming - it definitely hurt, but I'm bouncing back. I always do. It was fun while it lasted and I wish him all the best in the future. Lessons learned - "Don't count your chickens before they've hatched" and "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
Anyways...Nunsense went up in November and it ended up going really, really well. As much as I was stressed out about it, it came together nicely and I had fun doing it. I was kind of handed the role of Sister Leo, but it was one that allowed me to really display what I can do dancing, singing, and acting-wise. I had no problem becoming the character - basically, she was a younger me. Since then, I've auditioned for 2 shows...one was a community theater group production of Rent in Rhinebeck and I was flat-out rejected, the other was a tuition-based conservatory thing in Westchester for teens and twenty-somethings doing another of my dream shows, A Chorus Line. For that one, I made it all the way to final callbacks for the parts I really wanted, only to be offered a part in the cut dancer ensemble. I declined the part, mainly due to the fact that I live an hour away from the theater and can't afford the tuition right now. One day, I will do a production of A Chorus Line and I will get a spot on The Line, mark my words.
About 2 weeks ago, I went to the city with my friend Jess to see Disney's The Princess & the Frog at the Ziegfeld Theater and to the Ultimate Disney Experience at the Roseland Ballroom. Being the ginormous Disney geek that I am, I thought the movie was adorable and the expo was fun...we met all the Disney princesses, including the new princess, Tiana, took a drawing class, and saw some cool stuff from the Disney archives. After all that stuff, we went to the Rockefellar Center area...we went inside St. Patrick's (which is GORGEOUS at Christmas time), poked around the NBC Experience store, then went to the skating rink to see the tree. We took pictures in front of the tree and saw the awesome light-up/musical snowflake display at Saks. One of the few things I bought while on that excursion was at St. Pat's...a prayer card to St. Teresa of Avila that really resonated with me:
"Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things pass away;
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things,
He who has God
Finds he lacks nothing;
God alone suffices."
I've applied to several jobs lately and still, I get no feedback. I asked Santa for a job for Christmas...maybe it'll come after the holidays? I can only hope. I've decided that if I don't find a job in a few months, well fuck it...I'm gonna apply to a bunch of grad school programs and try to do something I might actually like. A master's degree would hopefully make me stand out in a bunch of resumes.
On the romance front...I've been talking to 2 guys I met online. At http://www.okcupid.com/, of all places. I joined that site as a joke like 5 years when I was in college. I liked it mostly for the fun personality quizzes. Now, most of the guys that have messaged me on this site before were either extremely nerdy or disgusting perverts, so I'm not normally inclined to actually answer most of the messages that I get. I was on the verge of cancelling my membership when I got messages from these 2 guys who actually seem decent. Both are very similar to me, but in different ways. One is a part-time freelance writing teacher with an English degree who also acts & sings on the side. He seems nice so far, but there's something about him that annoys me a bit. He seems into me and is eager to meet me in person, but I don't know how I feel about him yet. The other guy feels my pain about the job situation, as he has a non-paying writing internship and can't find a job, either. He is sympathetic and funny and we seem to have similar personalities. He's more laid-back and has not even brought up meeting up in person yet. I don't know. We shall see how it goes.
I think I have the post-holiday blues or something. I've been kind of sad lately. I can't even really explain why. It could be the job thing, but it also could be that I feel isolated. It doesn't help that I don't get out much...can't really afford to right now. I hardly see my friends anymore and it feels like we're starting to grow apart, especially my college buddies. I know this stuff happens, but I don't wanna let it! Binghamton buddies, expect phone calls in the next few days, I'd like to do some catching up.
Sadly, I've been eating my feelings lately. I've gained some weight back and I feel like crap. I don't need a scale to know - my pants are just barely fitting me. As soon as the holidays are over, I'm hitting the gym - hard. Boy, am I glad the holidays only come once a year!
On the bright side, my sis and I got some kick-ass presents for Christmas - a Nintendo Wii system, Wii Fit, a Band Hero kit (the game, plus drums, guitar and microphone), and The Beatles Rock Band game. I love to sing and do fairly well (with songs I know, anyway), and with some practice, I won't suck at the drums. Been too scared to pick up the guitar, but that will come soon enough. And don't even get me started on the Wii Fit...I haven't set foot on it yet, but I know for a fact that it will definitely yell at me for being overweight.
I can't wait for 2010...mostly because 2009 (with the exception of a few awesome things) was one of the crappiest years of my life. I'm a fan of the whole symbollic new year, new start thing. Wipe the slate clean and start over again. First goal of the year: find a job and/or apply to grad school. Getting back into dance classes, voice lessons, and moving out of my parents' house to follow. As for love...I'm not gonna actively go looking for it. If it finds me, so be it. If it doesn't, that's ok. And my experiences with guys this year have made me realize that maybe perhaps I'm not as ready to settle down as I thought I was. I wanna be able to stand on my own two feet for a while. I may just start praying again...it couldn't hurt.
Anyways...Nunsense went up in November and it ended up going really, really well. As much as I was stressed out about it, it came together nicely and I had fun doing it. I was kind of handed the role of Sister Leo, but it was one that allowed me to really display what I can do dancing, singing, and acting-wise. I had no problem becoming the character - basically, she was a younger me. Since then, I've auditioned for 2 shows...one was a community theater group production of Rent in Rhinebeck and I was flat-out rejected, the other was a tuition-based conservatory thing in Westchester for teens and twenty-somethings doing another of my dream shows, A Chorus Line. For that one, I made it all the way to final callbacks for the parts I really wanted, only to be offered a part in the cut dancer ensemble. I declined the part, mainly due to the fact that I live an hour away from the theater and can't afford the tuition right now. One day, I will do a production of A Chorus Line and I will get a spot on The Line, mark my words.
About 2 weeks ago, I went to the city with my friend Jess to see Disney's The Princess & the Frog at the Ziegfeld Theater and to the Ultimate Disney Experience at the Roseland Ballroom. Being the ginormous Disney geek that I am, I thought the movie was adorable and the expo was fun...we met all the Disney princesses, including the new princess, Tiana, took a drawing class, and saw some cool stuff from the Disney archives. After all that stuff, we went to the Rockefellar Center area...we went inside St. Patrick's (which is GORGEOUS at Christmas time), poked around the NBC Experience store, then went to the skating rink to see the tree. We took pictures in front of the tree and saw the awesome light-up/musical snowflake display at Saks. One of the few things I bought while on that excursion was at St. Pat's...a prayer card to St. Teresa of Avila that really resonated with me:
"Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things pass away;
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things,
He who has God
Finds he lacks nothing;
God alone suffices."
I've applied to several jobs lately and still, I get no feedback. I asked Santa for a job for Christmas...maybe it'll come after the holidays? I can only hope. I've decided that if I don't find a job in a few months, well fuck it...I'm gonna apply to a bunch of grad school programs and try to do something I might actually like. A master's degree would hopefully make me stand out in a bunch of resumes.
On the romance front...I've been talking to 2 guys I met online. At http://www.okcupid.com/, of all places. I joined that site as a joke like 5 years when I was in college. I liked it mostly for the fun personality quizzes. Now, most of the guys that have messaged me on this site before were either extremely nerdy or disgusting perverts, so I'm not normally inclined to actually answer most of the messages that I get. I was on the verge of cancelling my membership when I got messages from these 2 guys who actually seem decent. Both are very similar to me, but in different ways. One is a part-time freelance writing teacher with an English degree who also acts & sings on the side. He seems nice so far, but there's something about him that annoys me a bit. He seems into me and is eager to meet me in person, but I don't know how I feel about him yet. The other guy feels my pain about the job situation, as he has a non-paying writing internship and can't find a job, either. He is sympathetic and funny and we seem to have similar personalities. He's more laid-back and has not even brought up meeting up in person yet. I don't know. We shall see how it goes.
I think I have the post-holiday blues or something. I've been kind of sad lately. I can't even really explain why. It could be the job thing, but it also could be that I feel isolated. It doesn't help that I don't get out much...can't really afford to right now. I hardly see my friends anymore and it feels like we're starting to grow apart, especially my college buddies. I know this stuff happens, but I don't wanna let it! Binghamton buddies, expect phone calls in the next few days, I'd like to do some catching up.
Sadly, I've been eating my feelings lately. I've gained some weight back and I feel like crap. I don't need a scale to know - my pants are just barely fitting me. As soon as the holidays are over, I'm hitting the gym - hard. Boy, am I glad the holidays only come once a year!
On the bright side, my sis and I got some kick-ass presents for Christmas - a Nintendo Wii system, Wii Fit, a Band Hero kit (the game, plus drums, guitar and microphone), and The Beatles Rock Band game. I love to sing and do fairly well (with songs I know, anyway), and with some practice, I won't suck at the drums. Been too scared to pick up the guitar, but that will come soon enough. And don't even get me started on the Wii Fit...I haven't set foot on it yet, but I know for a fact that it will definitely yell at me for being overweight.
I can't wait for 2010...mostly because 2009 (with the exception of a few awesome things) was one of the crappiest years of my life. I'm a fan of the whole symbollic new year, new start thing. Wipe the slate clean and start over again. First goal of the year: find a job and/or apply to grad school. Getting back into dance classes, voice lessons, and moving out of my parents' house to follow. As for love...I'm not gonna actively go looking for it. If it finds me, so be it. If it doesn't, that's ok. And my experiences with guys this year have made me realize that maybe perhaps I'm not as ready to settle down as I thought I was. I wanna be able to stand on my own two feet for a while. I may just start praying again...it couldn't hurt.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it...sort of.
I just realized I haven't written in here in a while, and I think it was because for a little while there, I wasn't doing anything worth writing about. But anyways, things have changed.
The director of one of the theater groups I have worked with in the past called me up earlier this month and asked me if I would be willing to co-choreograph the next show they were putting on, Nunsense: The Mega-Musical. Being unemployed and bored out of my mind, I said yes. I had to attend auditions and had to sit through 2 days of a bunch of people singing (a la American Idol) and reading for parts. In a way, it was a pain in the ass, having to sit there for so many hours, but on the other hand, it was kinda cool actually having a say in who got cast in the show. Having to be there anyway, I was talked into auditioning myself...I sang "Holding Out For A Hero" from Footloose. I was asked to get up and read with the others a few times, mostly for the roles of Sister Hubert and Sister Leo (the one I actually wanted if cast). Since I was comfortable with the people there, I wasn't very nervous and did fairly well. I'm not trying to brag by saying this, but with this particular group, I feel like a bit like big fish in a little pond and I had been trying to branch outside the comfort zone and get into more competitive and well-known theater groups. Long story short, I didn't have much competition - I got the role I wanted, and it's one of the leads. I'm the novice Sister Leo, who wants to become the world's first nun-ballerina. With only 6 weeks of rehearsal to pull this off, I'm spending a good chunk of my own free time learning the songs and choreographing numbers. (And this week, we're gonna start blocking so I'll hafta start learning lines, too!) It's all a bit overwhelming and my head hurts just thinking about it. But one way or another, it'll all get done and come together - it always does. The one unfortunate part about this is that it's not a paying gig - it's community theater, but at least it's something to keep me busy. Oh, shameless plug - the website has all the info if you'd like to come check out the show: http://www.stpny.com
Speaking of paying gigs...I sent my headshot and performing resume to a local Hudson Valley casting company not expecting any results, and I was called to be an extra in a movie last week. It was partly exciting (I had never done extra work before) and partly boring (it's a lot of hurry up and wait). All I was told is that the movie was called "Restoring Grace,"that it was filming in Irvington (about an hour away from where I live), and that I would be paid $100 cash for the day. Let me tell you, being an actor (especially a background actor) is harder than it looks. It was an outdoor shoot and it was kinda cold - thankfully, we were able to stay inside when not being used and wear warm jackets and gloves in between takes. I also got a bit of sunburn from being outside around noon when the sun was high, in addition to chafing on my neck from a jacket the wardrobe people made me wear as part of my outfit. Also, the shoes I picked were not the most comfortable, so by the end of the 11 hour day, my feet were swollen. Thankfully, I was well-fed and the people I had to interact with were all very nice. I didn't meet any new BFF's, but it wasn't terrible by any means - just tiring. Oh, and I ended up with $125 instead of $100, which was nice. The weirdest part though? It turned out to be a German made-for-TV movie (based on a fluffy romance novel) that will probably never be shown in the U.S.
The other night, I had a bit of an epiphany - I decided that my heart's desire (what I want more than ANYTHING in the world) is to move to New York City and simultaneously pursue a Master's degree in Arts Administration (NYU or Columbia, perhaps?) and a professional dance/singing/acting career. Dance/Voice/Acting classes and auditions during the day, school at night, perhaps stick a really cool work-study job or internship in there somewhere...but my sister brought me back to earth and said "but how are you gonna pay for it?" Truthfully, I haven't thought about it that far...I was thinking maybe financial aid or scholarships??? I'm thinking about just applying and then see what happens and go from there. It's a Catch-22 in a way...I can't find a job with just a Bachelor's degree, so I want to go to grad school to get my Master's which will hopefully give my resume a boost and help me get into the industry I want to pursue...but I can't pay for my master's without money from a job. It's a horrible and vicious cycle. Gaaaaah. I would've been better off had I figured this out right after college and not now. I don't know....like I said, I'm just gonna apply and see what happens. Que sera sera.
The love life? Not so good. Haven't heard anything from army boy in over a month. No letter, no text, no phone call, no e-mail, no nothing. I'm hoping this doesn't mean he's decided I'm crazy and that he'll never speak to me again....I REALLY liked him and I thought he liked me too. If I don't hear from him in the next few weeks, I'm just gonna forget about it and move on, even though I know it's gonna hurt. I'll wait a little longer, but I'm not waiting forever. :(
I'm sick of being poor and bored and semi-nocturnal. I'm sick of hearing about people I grew up with all making good money in awesome careers, getting married, having babies, and moving on with life while I'm stuck here at home in this stagnant state. I hope things change for me soon...it's getting harder and harder to be patient and positive.
The director of one of the theater groups I have worked with in the past called me up earlier this month and asked me if I would be willing to co-choreograph the next show they were putting on, Nunsense: The Mega-Musical. Being unemployed and bored out of my mind, I said yes. I had to attend auditions and had to sit through 2 days of a bunch of people singing (a la American Idol) and reading for parts. In a way, it was a pain in the ass, having to sit there for so many hours, but on the other hand, it was kinda cool actually having a say in who got cast in the show. Having to be there anyway, I was talked into auditioning myself...I sang "Holding Out For A Hero" from Footloose. I was asked to get up and read with the others a few times, mostly for the roles of Sister Hubert and Sister Leo (the one I actually wanted if cast). Since I was comfortable with the people there, I wasn't very nervous and did fairly well. I'm not trying to brag by saying this, but with this particular group, I feel like a bit like big fish in a little pond and I had been trying to branch outside the comfort zone and get into more competitive and well-known theater groups. Long story short, I didn't have much competition - I got the role I wanted, and it's one of the leads. I'm the novice Sister Leo, who wants to become the world's first nun-ballerina. With only 6 weeks of rehearsal to pull this off, I'm spending a good chunk of my own free time learning the songs and choreographing numbers. (And this week, we're gonna start blocking so I'll hafta start learning lines, too!) It's all a bit overwhelming and my head hurts just thinking about it. But one way or another, it'll all get done and come together - it always does. The one unfortunate part about this is that it's not a paying gig - it's community theater, but at least it's something to keep me busy. Oh, shameless plug - the website has all the info if you'd like to come check out the show: http://www.stpny.com
Speaking of paying gigs...I sent my headshot and performing resume to a local Hudson Valley casting company not expecting any results, and I was called to be an extra in a movie last week. It was partly exciting (I had never done extra work before) and partly boring (it's a lot of hurry up and wait). All I was told is that the movie was called "Restoring Grace,"that it was filming in Irvington (about an hour away from where I live), and that I would be paid $100 cash for the day. Let me tell you, being an actor (especially a background actor) is harder than it looks. It was an outdoor shoot and it was kinda cold - thankfully, we were able to stay inside when not being used and wear warm jackets and gloves in between takes. I also got a bit of sunburn from being outside around noon when the sun was high, in addition to chafing on my neck from a jacket the wardrobe people made me wear as part of my outfit. Also, the shoes I picked were not the most comfortable, so by the end of the 11 hour day, my feet were swollen. Thankfully, I was well-fed and the people I had to interact with were all very nice. I didn't meet any new BFF's, but it wasn't terrible by any means - just tiring. Oh, and I ended up with $125 instead of $100, which was nice. The weirdest part though? It turned out to be a German made-for-TV movie (based on a fluffy romance novel) that will probably never be shown in the U.S.
The other night, I had a bit of an epiphany - I decided that my heart's desire (what I want more than ANYTHING in the world) is to move to New York City and simultaneously pursue a Master's degree in Arts Administration (NYU or Columbia, perhaps?) and a professional dance/singing/acting career. Dance/Voice/Acting classes and auditions during the day, school at night, perhaps stick a really cool work-study job or internship in there somewhere...but my sister brought me back to earth and said "but how are you gonna pay for it?" Truthfully, I haven't thought about it that far...I was thinking maybe financial aid or scholarships??? I'm thinking about just applying and then see what happens and go from there. It's a Catch-22 in a way...I can't find a job with just a Bachelor's degree, so I want to go to grad school to get my Master's which will hopefully give my resume a boost and help me get into the industry I want to pursue...but I can't pay for my master's without money from a job. It's a horrible and vicious cycle. Gaaaaah. I would've been better off had I figured this out right after college and not now. I don't know....like I said, I'm just gonna apply and see what happens. Que sera sera.
The love life? Not so good. Haven't heard anything from army boy in over a month. No letter, no text, no phone call, no e-mail, no nothing. I'm hoping this doesn't mean he's decided I'm crazy and that he'll never speak to me again....I REALLY liked him and I thought he liked me too. If I don't hear from him in the next few weeks, I'm just gonna forget about it and move on, even though I know it's gonna hurt. I'll wait a little longer, but I'm not waiting forever. :(
I'm sick of being poor and bored and semi-nocturnal. I'm sick of hearing about people I grew up with all making good money in awesome careers, getting married, having babies, and moving on with life while I'm stuck here at home in this stagnant state. I hope things change for me soon...it's getting harder and harder to be patient and positive.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Holding out for a hero...and a job.
After a lot of nagging on my mom's part, I went and got my hair cut again this morning...I am once more sporting the chin-length bob. Up until a few months ago, I never thought I'd like having short hair for a long period of time...but I'm loving it! The only downside? I can't put it up in twists, rolls, and braids like I could when I had long hair. Other than that, it's great! My former neighbor, Jeralyn is getting married on Saturday and my sister and I are attending the wedding along with my parents. Therefore, my mom's gonna go batshit crazy making sure we all look perfect for family photos. It should be a good time...I just hope there's an open bar.
So, I definitely did not get the dance teacher job I was up for. They held a grand opening for the new studio in Fishkill over the weekend. I never heard a word one way or the other from the girls who run the studio...no offense, but that's kind of rude and classless. I schlepped all the way down to Peekskill to give a trial class for them...the least they could've done was send me a rejection e-mail or phone call. Things are still not looking so good on the job front...I applied to a few more publishing jobs I found on Hot Jobs and even filled out an online application for secretary/receptionist jobs on the HealthQuest website. And I haven't heard a thing from anyone. Grrr. Does anybody wanna hire me???? My talents/skills include dancing, singing, acting, choreographing, faxing, copying, answering phones, making coffee, making smoothies, writing, editing, proofreading, blogging, making mixed CD's, and a bunch of other stuff I can't think of at the moment.
I had a pretty good week last week, other than that. Wednesday I went to the Dutchess County Fair with Dad & Lauren where we saw a lot of animals and ate like fat kids, Thursday I saw Jessica in Urinetown: The Musical...it was very different than most musicals I've seen before - very tongue-in-cheek and she was fabulous in it, Friday was Game Night...we had a large group of 14 so we were able to play "Mafia" and "Psychiatrist" in addition to Apples to Apples and Scattergories. On Saturday, I saw Amanda in "Like We Wasn't People," and she was awesome...she has quite the talent for playing the dark, dramatic roles and this one in particular was intense. Sunday was the Wine Festival at Bethel Woods - we brought home 6 bottles of our favorite wines! It was a good time. We'll probably be going to the Food & Wine Fest at the Dutchess County Fairgrounds in 2 weeks.
Oh, also on Thursday, I received some good stuff in the mail - Kellie was kind enough to send me the 2nd half of season 5 and all of season 6 of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and another letter. We'll see what happens.
So, I definitely did not get the dance teacher job I was up for. They held a grand opening for the new studio in Fishkill over the weekend. I never heard a word one way or the other from the girls who run the studio...no offense, but that's kind of rude and classless. I schlepped all the way down to Peekskill to give a trial class for them...the least they could've done was send me a rejection e-mail or phone call. Things are still not looking so good on the job front...I applied to a few more publishing jobs I found on Hot Jobs and even filled out an online application for secretary/receptionist jobs on the HealthQuest website. And I haven't heard a thing from anyone. Grrr. Does anybody wanna hire me???? My talents/skills include dancing, singing, acting, choreographing, faxing, copying, answering phones, making coffee, making smoothies, writing, editing, proofreading, blogging, making mixed CD's, and a bunch of other stuff I can't think of at the moment.
I had a pretty good week last week, other than that. Wednesday I went to the Dutchess County Fair with Dad & Lauren where we saw a lot of animals and ate like fat kids, Thursday I saw Jessica in Urinetown: The Musical...it was very different than most musicals I've seen before - very tongue-in-cheek and she was fabulous in it, Friday was Game Night...we had a large group of 14 so we were able to play "Mafia" and "Psychiatrist" in addition to Apples to Apples and Scattergories. On Saturday, I saw Amanda in "Like We Wasn't People," and she was awesome...she has quite the talent for playing the dark, dramatic roles and this one in particular was intense. Sunday was the Wine Festival at Bethel Woods - we brought home 6 bottles of our favorite wines! It was a good time. We'll probably be going to the Food & Wine Fest at the Dutchess County Fairgrounds in 2 weeks.
Oh, also on Thursday, I received some good stuff in the mail - Kellie was kind enough to send me the 2nd half of season 5 and all of season 6 of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and another letter. We'll see what happens.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
A Little Bit Depressed and A Lot Crazy
Thursday, I drove down to Peekskill to give a trial ballet class – I was up for a part-time dance teacher position. I thought it went well; I ended up instead of teaching an entire class doing a half-hour private lesson for one kid. So far, I haven’t heard anything…I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but we shall see.
I’m feeling kind of lost right now (not to mention useless and unemployable)…do I keep at it applying to jobs and going on auditions? Do I go to grad school? And if I do, what do I study? Should I sell out and get my masters in something marketable like Teaching, Business, or medicine-related like I’ve seen other people do? Or do I get an MFA in something I love like Arts Journalism, Dance Performance/Choreography, Musical Theater or (if I wanna be an uber nerd, I looked it up, it exists) get a Ph.D. in Dance History and risk having yet another hard time finding a job? And no, I don’t expect anyone to have the answers to my crazy questions. I’m just venting my frustration. I know the job market is bad, worst it's been in years, but can't a girl get a fuckin' break?
Blah...oh, and another problem...little activity = LOTS of eating and a screwed up sleep schedule.
You're all probably thinking "what happened to Lindsay's sunny outlook and positive attitude?" You can only go for so long before the depressing thoughts start seeping in and taking over.
The only solutions I have are eating ice cream and watching movies...they always make me feel better...too bad the effects are only temporary.
I’m feeling kind of lost right now (not to mention useless and unemployable)…do I keep at it applying to jobs and going on auditions? Do I go to grad school? And if I do, what do I study? Should I sell out and get my masters in something marketable like Teaching, Business, or medicine-related like I’ve seen other people do? Or do I get an MFA in something I love like Arts Journalism, Dance Performance/Choreography, Musical Theater or (if I wanna be an uber nerd, I looked it up, it exists) get a Ph.D. in Dance History and risk having yet another hard time finding a job? And no, I don’t expect anyone to have the answers to my crazy questions. I’m just venting my frustration. I know the job market is bad, worst it's been in years, but can't a girl get a fuckin' break?
Blah...oh, and another problem...little activity = LOTS of eating and a screwed up sleep schedule.
You're all probably thinking "what happened to Lindsay's sunny outlook and positive attitude?" You can only go for so long before the depressing thoughts start seeping in and taking over.
The only solutions I have are eating ice cream and watching movies...they always make me feel better...too bad the effects are only temporary.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Quotes and Lyrics
I was just listening to River of Dreams and this particular set of lyrics seemed to resonate with me:
"I don't know why I go walking at night
But now I'm tired and I don't want to walk anymore
I hope it doesn't take the rest of my life
Until I find what it is I've been looking for..."
-Billy Joel
I haven't seen this yet (it's closing next month) - does anyone want to take a trip to the city to see it with me?
"What do you do with a B.A. in English
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college and plenty of knowledge
Have earned me this useless degree.
I can't pay the bills yet,'Cause I have no skills yet,
The world is a big scary place.
But somehow I can't shake,
The feeling I might make,
A difference,To the human race."
-Avenue Q
That's pretty much the story of my life in a nutshell.
This is from a somewhat obscure Sherman Brothers musical version of Cinderella starring Richard Chamberlin called "The Slipper and the Rose." Nobody I know has ever really seen or heard of it, but it's FABULOUS as far as musicals go - there is more focus on the prince's story line and he and Cinderella actually have to overcome a few obstacles in order to be together. There's also fabulous period costumes, fun dance numbers, and political commentary.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075232/
"Things have changed...but that doesn't mean to say they won't change again."
- Fairy Godmother, The Slipper and the Rose
If anyone was curious, this is where the name of my blog comes from:
" When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window."
- Maria, The Sound of Music (played by the fabulous Julie Andrews, one of my idols)
The next two quotes are kind of random...I just really like them:
“There is such a thing as fate, but it only takes you so far. Then it's up to you to make it happen.” -Jenna Elfman as a Stripper-Angel, Can't Hardly Wait
"Well-behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
"I don't know why I go walking at night
But now I'm tired and I don't want to walk anymore
I hope it doesn't take the rest of my life
Until I find what it is I've been looking for..."
-Billy Joel
I haven't seen this yet (it's closing next month) - does anyone want to take a trip to the city to see it with me?
"What do you do with a B.A. in English
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college and plenty of knowledge
Have earned me this useless degree.
I can't pay the bills yet,'Cause I have no skills yet,
The world is a big scary place.
But somehow I can't shake,
The feeling I might make,
A difference,To the human race."
-Avenue Q
That's pretty much the story of my life in a nutshell.
This is from a somewhat obscure Sherman Brothers musical version of Cinderella starring Richard Chamberlin called "The Slipper and the Rose." Nobody I know has ever really seen or heard of it, but it's FABULOUS as far as musicals go - there is more focus on the prince's story line and he and Cinderella actually have to overcome a few obstacles in order to be together. There's also fabulous period costumes, fun dance numbers, and political commentary.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075232/
"Things have changed...but that doesn't mean to say they won't change again."
- Fairy Godmother, The Slipper and the Rose
If anyone was curious, this is where the name of my blog comes from:
" When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window."
- Maria, The Sound of Music (played by the fabulous Julie Andrews, one of my idols)
The next two quotes are kind of random...I just really like them:
“There is such a thing as fate, but it only takes you so far. Then it's up to you to make it happen.” -Jenna Elfman as a Stripper-Angel, Can't Hardly Wait
"Well-behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Life Goals Revisited
I was just looking at my old blog...yeah, I had a livejournal http://dancestarrunner.livejournal.com/, and before that a Xanga. It's pretty funny...I posted stuff in it as recently as last year and I found a list of short and long term goals I set for myself in early 2007. In the 2 years since I posted that, I think I managed to fulfill 99% of my short term goals, but none of my long term goals.
Short term:
-lose weight
-exercise more
-eat healthier
-call/visit my friends more
-go out on weekends more
-join the library
-start dating again
Long term:
-dance professionally at least once (in a company, in a Broadway show, Rockettes, or NBA Basketball dance team i.e. Knicks City Dancers)
-find a job I absolutely love
-learn to ballroom dance
-learn to horseback ride
-travel the world
-swim with dolphins
-become a published author (write a book, or at least have an article published in a well-known newspaper or magazine)
-learn different languages (Spanish, Italian, German, Japanese, relearn French, Gaelic, etc.)
-be a contestant on a TV trivia game show, i.e. Millionaire, Jeopardy, etc.
-learn something crafty (sewing, knitting, decoupage, jewelry making, etc.)
-meet at least one A-list celebrity (and not freak out while doing it)
-get a really awesome tattoo
-sing (or dance) back-up for a well-known recording artist
-be an extra in a movie (or even a small role with lines, so I can appear on IMDB.com)
New additions:
-visit all 50 states at least once
-perform in a Shakespeare play
-score a lead part in a musical
-start voice & acting classes again
-go to the city more often to take dance classes
-get new headshots taken
-find an agent
-finish watching entire series of Buffy The Vampire Slayer
-clean my room
-have a pool party
-move out of my parents' house
I'm not gonna put a time limit on all of this, but I'd like to accomplish all of this in the next few years if I can. I don't know if it will all be possible, but I will try.
Short term:
-lose weight
-exercise more
-eat healthier
-call/visit my friends more
-go out on weekends more
-join the library
-start dating again
Long term:
-dance professionally at least once (in a company, in a Broadway show, Rockettes, or NBA Basketball dance team i.e. Knicks City Dancers)
-find a job I absolutely love
-learn to ballroom dance
-learn to horseback ride
-travel the world
-swim with dolphins
-become a published author (write a book, or at least have an article published in a well-known newspaper or magazine)
-learn different languages (Spanish, Italian, German, Japanese, relearn French, Gaelic, etc.)
-be a contestant on a TV trivia game show, i.e. Millionaire, Jeopardy, etc.
-learn something crafty (sewing, knitting, decoupage, jewelry making, etc.)
-meet at least one A-list celebrity (and not freak out while doing it)
-get a really awesome tattoo
-sing (or dance) back-up for a well-known recording artist
-be an extra in a movie (or even a small role with lines, so I can appear on IMDB.com)
New additions:
-visit all 50 states at least once
-perform in a Shakespeare play
-score a lead part in a musical
-start voice & acting classes again
-go to the city more often to take dance classes
-get new headshots taken
-find an agent
-finish watching entire series of Buffy The Vampire Slayer
-clean my room
-have a pool party
-move out of my parents' house
I'm not gonna put a time limit on all of this, but I'd like to accomplish all of this in the next few years if I can. I don't know if it will all be possible, but I will try.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Live For Tomorrow
So...all of a sudden, things seem to be looking up slightly. On both the romantic and professional fronts. I've now exchanged 2 letters with a guy. Yes, actual physical snail mail letters...it's kinda romantic and old fashioned in a way. He has no phone or computer, so snail mail it is. Yeah. I curse the U.S. Army Reserves pretty much on a daily basis. It's pretty cute how we met...we were in a play together in college a few years ago. Almost right away, I developed a little crush and tried to flirt with him. Alas, he had just started dating someone else and didn't really notice, and then I started dating someone else in the cast after the show was over. Fast forward to this past June...we're both single and pursuing our respective crazy dreams...for him, it's the music industry, for me, it's the musical theater world. I post something about one of my auditions on facebook - he reads it and facebook IM's me about it. We start chatting, and next thing you know, I'm meeting up with him in the city for a date. I won't spill every little detail, but it went VERY well. Turns out we're extremely compatible on many levels. Sadly, we went on our date 2 days before he left to go to basic training. I give my address, thinking "yeah, right, he's never gonna write me." He totally surprised me and has written to me twice now. We shall see what happens.
Anyways...on the professional front...I got the Penny Saver in the mail and I'm combing throught the Help Wanted section (which is totally slim pickings, by the way) and I came across an ad for a dance teacher needed for a new dance studio opening in my area. I called the number and left a message for them to call me back around 1 this afternoon. I drove myself crazy for a few hours waiting for a return phone call. It finally came around 8:30pm. The girl I talked to sounded really nice - we set up an interview for this Friday and I e-mailed her my resume and a brief history of my dance background. Yay! My first interview since being unemployed. Hopefully this will be a full-time job. If not, it should at least be something fun to do until I find a "real" job. Ok, can't get ahead of myself I hafta actually get the job first. But yeah, I'm psyched. I've been dying to get back into dance again and to do something artsy and creative...it's been about a year since I've taken a class and 3 months since my last theater show. Keep your fingers crossed! I love having things to look forward to...that's what gives life meaning. Letters, interviews, and a trip to Binghamton where I will see Kellie & Meghan...yay!
Anyways...on the professional front...I got the Penny Saver in the mail and I'm combing throught the Help Wanted section (which is totally slim pickings, by the way) and I came across an ad for a dance teacher needed for a new dance studio opening in my area. I called the number and left a message for them to call me back around 1 this afternoon. I drove myself crazy for a few hours waiting for a return phone call. It finally came around 8:30pm. The girl I talked to sounded really nice - we set up an interview for this Friday and I e-mailed her my resume and a brief history of my dance background. Yay! My first interview since being unemployed. Hopefully this will be a full-time job. If not, it should at least be something fun to do until I find a "real" job. Ok, can't get ahead of myself I hafta actually get the job first. But yeah, I'm psyched. I've been dying to get back into dance again and to do something artsy and creative...it's been about a year since I've taken a class and 3 months since my last theater show. Keep your fingers crossed! I love having things to look forward to...that's what gives life meaning. Letters, interviews, and a trip to Binghamton where I will see Kellie & Meghan...yay!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Purgatory
I guess you can call this the new blog for the new chapter in my life. But really, it doesn't feel like I'm starting a new chapter, rather, it feels like I'm in a limbo-like state between chapters. I guess that's the only way to describe my current state of unemployment - purgatory. Yes, I am one of the many in this country that is without a job - not for lack of trying. I was working for a company in Westchester that publishes construction directories. I was making semi-decent money, getting decent benefits and I would get a bonus at the end of the year - and yet I was never so miserable in my whole life. I'm actually a little bit happier and a lot less stressed being unemployed. In a way, I see losing my job as a blessing in disguise - I now have plenty of time on my hands to look for a job that I actually like. Only problem is, I apply for jobs that sound cool and I get no feedback. It's going on 3 months since I lost my job and I haven't had a single interview - not a call, an e-mail - NOTHING. It's extremely frustrating. I'm a college grad with almost 3 years of experience under my belt - you would think I'd have no problem finding a job. But I have to keep things in perspective - it could always be worse. At the end of June, I found out that the girl who was my very best friend for the first 10 years of my life was killed in a car accident at the age of 25. Our moms did everything together - they even got pregnant together and we were born just 3 days apart - her on March 10, me on March 13. When we were about 9 or 10, our mothers (who were also best friends)had a falling out and we only saw one another briefly and sporadically throughout the years - I would think about her from time to time and wonder how she was, but I never reconnected with her - and now I'll never get the chance to. When I found out this bit of news, it hit me hard. I hadn't been so affected by someone's death since my grandmother died 15 years ago. Anyway, the point of my telling this is that I feel like I've gained a sense of joie de vivre - I'm happy to be alive and well. I may not have a job, a place of my own, or a boyfriend, but I have a family (crazy and dysfunctional as they may be) who loves me and supports me no matter what, fabulous friends who make me laugh and help me to stay positive, and someone who writes me letters. This is going to sound like one of those cheesy inspirational posters, but I keep reminding myself about the 3 P's - Be Persistant, Be Patient, and most importantly, Be Positive. These things, along with my crazy dreams of being a professional performer, are going to get me through my Quarter Life Crisis.
RIP Sarah E. Studler March 10, 1984 - June 26, 2009
RIP Sarah E. Studler March 10, 1984 - June 26, 2009
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