He's Just Not That Into Me...or How I suck at getting jobs that pay

So wow...according to Kellie, I'm a dead-beat blogger. It's been almost a month since the last time I wrote something in here...and I actually have a few things to report.

My sister celebrated her 23rd birthday a few days ago. We celebrated by taking a trip down to the city on Saturday evening...we had dinner and drinks at the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square, and then played some games at Dave & Buster's. We met up with her friends Theresa, Marisa and Keith as well as my friends Chelsea & Kellie. The wait was something like 2 hours, so we had a couple of drinks and played catch-up at the bar while waiting for a table. The drinks were good, the food was good, and the company was good...all in all, it was a good time. I didn't play too many games at Dave & Buster's, but I helped contribute a bit to my sister's winning so that she could come home with a crazy straw sippy cup and a shot glass.

A few weeks ago, I had applied to some jobs, and a couple of really cool-sounding (but non-paying) internships. Last week, I actually heard from the Paul Taylor Dance Company. I had a quick phone convo with them, which was very positive, and then Tuesday I went down to their office for an in-person interview. I came home 99% positive that I had gotten it...I was told they'd be in touch with me by the end of the week. Yesterday (Wednesday), I got an e-mail from Bill T. Jones/Arnie Zane Dance Company wanting to schedule an interview, and since I hadn't yet heard definitely from Paul Taylor, I e-mailed them back today saying I would be willing to schedule an interview. Approximately 2 hours after sending that e-mail, I get an e-mail from the Paul Taylor people asking me if I can start Wednesday. I'm not positive as to what my next move will be, but I have a feeling I will accept the Paul Taylor internship and do one of two things: a) try and see if I can do both at once or b) see if Bill T. Jones will take me on in May or June when I'm done with Paul Taylor. Oh, and to be clear, these are Arts Administration internships - they like me for my clerical/administrative experience as well as my background in the arts. After first talking to the girl from Paul Taylor, I started looking into part-time retail jobs (Starbucks, Barnes & Noble, Borders, Best Buy, etc.) so that if I got the internship, I'd have a little extra income. The day I went scout out some of these stores, I get a call from the dance studio I applied to work at over the summer - apparently, they didn't hire me because they had too few students and not because they didn't like me. Well, anyways, a teacher job opened up and they need someone to come in once a week and teach a ballet class. The director (Christine) asked me if I'd be interested, and I said hell yeah! It'll only be $25/week, but it's something to do and it'll be fun. So now I will be living the starving artist's lifestyle for the next few months. Hopefully, the job & internship(s?) will lead to more good things...we shall see!


On the romance front...I kinda stopped talking to Boy #1 from Okcupid. I felt like he had some idealized vision of me in his head and that he was putting me up on some pedestal...constantly telling me how wonderful I am and trying to be my knight-in-shining armor/cheerleader. I'm not a princess who needs to be worshipped and I was a little freaked out when he told me he liked me a lot...we hadn't even met yet! I don't need that kind of pressure. I want to be treated like a person - I'm not perfect, and I don't expect anyone else to be. Boy #2 seemed more promising...he was much more laid back, funny, a bit of a smart ass. I felt comfortable talking to him about a lot of stuff and it didn't feel like he was judging me. While a lot of interests differed, we seemed to agree on important stuff. Eventually, we agreed to meet up for coffee (not as a date). He was tall, cute, and funny - I was kind of awkward at the beginning, but once I remembered that I had talked to him before, I was able to warm up and be more talkative. I was under the impression that it went well - I had fun talking to him and the time seemed to fly a bit. We've IM'ed and texted a bit since, but the subject of meeting up again has yet to come up. I don't know if I did or said something to freak him out, but talking to him hasn't been the same recently. I'm under the impression that maybe he's just not that into me, but it's hard to gauge. With guys, I seem to want all or nothing, which is probably why I have so few male friends. I don't have an awful lot of trouble attracting guys, I just can't seem to hold onto them. I'm kind of sweet and trusting, and I've had guys take advantage of this before...they feed me what I want to hear, take what they want, and then leave. I'm just getting sick and tired of the games and the bullshit - if you're not that into me, tell me! Don't string me along because you like the attention. Don't ask me what's wrong, pretend to care and then fail to answer me. Maybe I should just stay away from men for a while...I have yet to find a guy who can give me what I want. I'm not on the hunt for a husband - I've got other priorities and I'm not ready for that yet...maybe someday, but not too soon. I'm focused on my career and I want to stand on my own two feet. However, I wouldn't mind a boyfriend - someone to hang out with and have sex with on a regular basis would be nice. And I really do think I'd make a kick-ass girlfriend. I'm honest, independent, not very jealous, I can be funny sometimes, I'm a girly girl (but not TOO girly - I kill spiders and I'm not afraid to get dirty), I like some sports and Tarantino films, I like to cook (and eat), I'm not too clingy or codependent...I'd make a fine girlfriend if given the chance. That movie "He's Just Not That Into You" seems to be the story of my life (the Ginnifer Goodwin plotline). So yeah, I'm gonna stay away from men for a while...they just kinda suck right now.

I'm gonna conclude this post with a few awesome movie quotes:

"I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much, but at least that means I still care. Oh! You think you've won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way, but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit, but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are."
-Gigi, He's Just Not That Into You

"I wish it could just be simple, like a retro pop song, 'I Want You To Want Me.' Boom. End of story. We all live happily ever after. But it is never really like that, is it?"
- Kate, John Tucker Must Die

"Look, other bands, they want to make it about sex or pain, but you know, The Beatles, they had it all figured out out, okay? 'I Want To Hold Your Hand.' The first single. It's effing brilliant, right? That's what everybody wants, Nicky. They don't want a twenty-four hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand."
-Thom, Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes, we're so focused on finding our happy ending, we don't learn how to read the signs...how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay from the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy...maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment...you never gave up hope." -Gigi, He's Just Not That Into You